alright...

mellisa::
The Sudden Departure
Random Brutal Love Master (RBLM)
Sweet. Dear. Loving. At Gate 18. Final call. You are The Sudden Departure.
You've been in a lot of serious relationships. More than a few have ended ugly. Uglily. Whatever. Our guess is that you're a really fantastic girl who doesn't really know what she wants, and you've broken a few hearts as a result. You fall for people easily, and you enjoy the feeling of falling in love, but once you're there, either boredom or the old "grass is greener" syndrome sets in. The mind wanders, and with it goes the flesh. And then the toiletries.
We know you're not the classic "love 'em and leave 'em" type, at least not in a purely sexual sense. You have too many serious bonding tendencies for that. But even though you're theoretically looking to settle down, you don't settle long on one person. "Serial monogamist" is probably something you hear a lot. "Emotionally loose" is another way to put it. To the poor guys eating your dust and sniffing your panties, it doesn't really make much difference. Of course, it's not really your fault that people get hurt. You have every right to move on when you choose.

lauren::
The Peach
Random Gentle Love Master (RGLM)
Playful, kind, and well-loved, you are The Peach.
For such a warm-hearted, generous person, you're surprisingly experienced in both love and sex. We credit your spontaneous side; you tend to live in the moment, and you don't get bogged down by inhibitions like most women your age. If you see something wonderful, you confidently embrace it.
You are a fun flirt and an instant sweetheart, but our guess is you're becoming more selective about long-term love. It's getting tougher for you to become permanently attached; and a guy who's in a different place emotionally might misunderstand your early enthusiasm. You can wreck someone simply by enjoying him.
Your ideal mate is adventurous and giving, like you. But not overly intense.

brian::
The Loverboy
Random Gentle Love Master (RGLM)
Well-liked. Well-established. You are The Loverboy. Loverboys thrive in committed, steady relationships—as opposed to, say, Playboys, who want sex without too much attachment.
You've had many relationships and nearly all of them have been successful. You're a nice guy, you know the ropes, and even if you can be a little hasty with decisions, most girls think of you as a total catch. Your hastiness comes off as spontaneity most of the time anyhow, making you especially popular in your circle of friends, too.
You know not to make the typical Loverboy mistake of choosing someone who appreciates your good humor and popularity, but who offers nothing in return. You belong with someone outgoing, independent, and creative. Otherwise, you'll get bored. And then instead of surprising her with flowers or a practical joke, you'll surprise her by leaving.

jerrett::
The Playboy
Random Gentle Sex Master (RGSM)
Clean. Smooth. Successful. You're The Playboy.
You're spontaneous, and your energy is highly contagious. Guys therefore find you fun to be around, and girls find you compelling. You have lots of sex, and you manage it all without seeming cheap or being hurtful. Well done. You probably know karate, too.
It's obvious to us, and probably everyone else, that you're after physical rather than emotional relationships, but you're straight up with potential partners. And if a girl you want isn't into something casual, it's no big deal. You move on. BEFORE sleeping with her. Usually. At least you try to. Such control is rare.
If you're feeling unfulfilled, maybe you should raise your standards. New conquests will only be satisfying if there's a possibility of rejection.

big red::
The 5-Night Stand
Deliberate Brutal Sex Master (DBSM)
Compassionate, loving, and understanding, but only for one business week, you are The 5-Night Stand.
Sex is your primary objective, and you are a skilled manipulator. Therefore, you get LOTS of ass. Most likely, you juggle many women at once; you care about all of them a lot, but each of them a little. It adds up, right? One love.
You're not dishonest with people, exactly. It's unlikely, for instance, you'd actually say "I love you," just to get laid; and you might even go as far as explaining "I'm not ready for a commitment" to a potential partner. Of course, when you say it, you'd smile that special smile, like you two have an inside joke. Her.
The secret of your success? Every nice person has an instinct to fix the broken dirtbag within you. Women especially have this instinct, because deep down they want their sons to be evil, a genetic advantage.
To wit, your most likely occupations are stock broker, lawyer, and photographer. You are a hard worker, because power and success turn you on.
"While the breadwinning, gentle husbands of the world are mowing their front lawns, you are literally fucking their wives."

brandon::
The Bachelor
Deliberate Gentle Sex Master (DGSM)
Straight-up. Studly. Congratulations, you are The Bachelor.
You're an honest, good-thinking guy, and though you're very sexually active, people don't perceive you as a male-slut or man-whore or guy-dick-putter-inner or whatever. You have a sterling reputation.
You're a careful person, perhaps too much so for your friends' tastes, but girls like that in you. You probably don't kiss & tell. And you definitely don't brag. You know you don't have to prove anything to anyone. It's as if you believe in monogamy, so long as it's with lots of different people.
Our guess is that you've got some kind of word-of-mouth going with the girls out there, and that in the future, your sex partners will get even more plentiful, and more attractive, too.
You will settle down eventually, and make an excellent husband. You seem like the type who is into the idea of making copies of yourself, so you'll probably have kids. Bear in mind, meanwhile, this can get expensive.
ALTERNATE ENDING: You will die broke and alone. Vermin will feast on your ragged body for five days before the groundskeeper notices. The thing is, when somebody dies in a public restroom, the natural odor of his decomposing flesh is often masked by the feces smell.