Dating Persona Test
Johnathon:
The 5-Night Stand
Deliberate Brutal Sex Master (DBSM)

Compassionate, loving, and understanding, but only for one business week, you are The 5-Night Stand.

Sex is your primary objective, and you are a skilled manipulator. Therefore, you get LOTS of ass. Most likely, you juggle many women at once; you care about all of them a lot, but each of them a little. It adds up, right? One love.

You’re not dishonest with people, exactly. It’s unlikely, for instance, you’d actually say “I love you,” just to get laid; and you might even go as far as explaining “I’m not ready for a commitment” to a potential partner. Of course, when you say it, you’d smile that special smile, like you two have an inside joke. Her.

The secret of your success? Every nice person has an instinct to fix the broken dirtbag within you. Women especially have this instinct, because deep down they want their sons to be evil, a genetic advantage.

To wit, your most likely occupations are stock broker, lawyer, and photographer. You are a hard worker, because power and success turn you on.

“While the breadwinning, gentle husbands of the world are mowing their front lawns, you are literally fucking their wives.”

Tom:
The Playboy
Random Gentle Sex Master (RGSM)

Clean. Smooth. Successful. You’re The Playboy.

You’re spontaneous, and your energy is highly contagious. Guys therefore find you fun to be around, and girls find you compelling. You have lots of sex, and you manage it all without seeming cheap or being hurtful. Well done. You probably know karate, too.

It’s obvious to us, and probably everyone else, that you’re after physical rather than emotional relationships, but you’re straight up with potential partners. And if a girl you want isn’t into something casual, it’s no big deal. You move on. BEFORE sleeping with her. Usually. At least you try to. Such control is rare.

If you’re feeling unfulfilled, maybe you should raise your standards. New conquests will only be satisfying if there’s a possibility of rejection.

Brandon:
The Gentleman
Deliberate Gentle Love Master (DGLM)

Steady & mature. You are The Gentleman.

For anyone looking for an even-keeled, considerate lover, you’re their man. You’re sophisticated. You know what you want both in a relationship and outside of it. You have a substantial romantic side, and you’re experienced enough sexually to handle yourself in that arena, too. Your future relationships will be long-lasting; you’re classic “marrying material,” a prize in the eyes of many.

It’s possible that behind it all, you’re a bit of a male slut. Your best friends know that in relationships you’re fundamentally sex-driven. You’re a safe, reliable guy, who does get laid. In a lot of ways, you’re like a well-worn, comfortable pair of socks. Did you ever jack off into one of those? All the time.

Your ideal mate is NOT a nut-job. She is giving and loving, like you, but also experienced.

Mark:
The Vapor Trail
Random Brutal Love Master (RBLM)

Here today, gone today. You are The Vapor Trail. Are you in a relationship now?

What about now?

Vapor Trails can be highly charismatic people—unpredictable, confident, and magnetic. You’re experienced. You know how to handle yourself in a relationship, and many people appreciate that. Many people, all in a row.

You’ve had your share of blissful beginnings, to be sure. But things almost never turn out how you’d like, do they? The problem is you’re never happy with someone for an extended period of time.

Vapor Trails especially need a girl who will laugh at their jokes. They’re also the most likely male type to be haunted by serious regret.

FACT: A few of your exes, the ones you were best to, will always love you. Nice going.